My Serial Killer Girlfriend
by Kurzon-Daxtrious0424
Summary: Sherlock reader insert "I think we're going to get along, quite well, you and i." You patted Watson's shoulder as you ran for the next set of groceries.


So i decided to carry over some of my stuff i've written on deviantart (surprisingly i've written a whole lot more on there than here), and i'm stuck with writer's block, so i decided to just go with it.

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"So... If already have a roommate, why am i moving in?" Watson asked, heaving his luggage up the flat's step.

"You chose to move in. And i wouldn't say she's a roommate. Unless you mean we share the same room, then yes, she's a roommate." Sherlock answered, sitting in his chair calmly.

"Wait, it's a she?" Watson caught his luggage just as it was going to drop down the steps.

"Yes. She, Pronoun: Used to refer to a woman, girl, or female animal previously mentioned or easily identified. Also a noun meaning a female, or woman." Sherlock answered calmly as he reached for his violin.

"Yes, i know what a woman is, Sherlock. It's just- i wasn't expecting-" Watson snapped back, reaching the top step.

"You weren't expecting me to have a relationship?" Sherlock asked, tuning the violin.

"No! No, i wasn't implying- you know what, never mind. What's her name?" Watson asked, opening his bedroom.

"(y/n). Quite an interesting girl. She's got quite the story to tell." Sherlock responded, giving an experimental note of the violin.

"What kind of story, exactly?" Watson asked, looking up from his luggage curiously.

"She can give you better details, but she's a former serial killer." Watson nearly dropped the clothes he was putting away.

"A former serial killer?!" Watson asked in disbelief.

"Oh yes. Her case was one of the best i had chased in a long time. Haven't seen one like it in a long time." Sherlock said excitedly.

"And she's still free?!" Watson walked back down the steps to Sherlock.

"She got caught in Ecuador. Clever girl, knowing it has no death penalty. The maximum jail time is 20 years, and she got off clean with a week's sentence." Sherlock said smugly.

"And how exactly did you two meet?" Watson asked, blinking in disbelief.

"Like i said, she was one of my cases. Are you familiar with the tale of Jack the Ripper?" Sherlock asked, watching Watson for a reaction.

"Who isn't?" Watson replied, waiting for the story.

"Think of it on a more global scale. And more deaths. Occuring, in order, the countries of Russia, Japan, France, Italy, America, Mexico, Brazil, Peru, India, back to Brazil, UK, back to America, and, finally, Ecuador." Sherlock said, amusment on his face as he watched Watson's face grow in horror.

"H-how long did this go for?" Watson stuttered.

"Nearly 2 years. She was clever enough to taunt the police, but knowing not to give her name. The fact that it was across territories was enough to scramble the police. But not me." Sherlock grinned.

"So... where is she today?" Watson asked, looking behind him at the door.

"Grocery store. That reminds me... can you hand me my phone?" Sherlock asked, looking as if he'd remembered something he'd forgotten.

"You're not going to get it yourself?" Watson grumbled, picking the phone up from the desk.

"Just get it." Sherlock set the violin aside. Watson slapped the phone into Sherlock's palm. Sherlock set to searching the phone book, dialing the familiar number. On speakerphone, Sherlock set the phone on the coffee table, nearly bouncing in his seat as the phone dialed.

"Yes?" Sherlock smiled wide at the sound of your voice.

"Hello, sweetheart." Sherlock spoke, watching Watson's back stiffen at your voice.

"Sweetheart? That's a new one. I like it. So, what do you need, love?" Your voice asked, clearly amused by Sherlock's pet name.

"We're out of milk. And tea." Sherlock said guiltily. You merely giggled.

"You'd think i'd forget? Yes, i have the milk, and the tea. Earl Grey, just like you like." you giggled, the sounds of the grocery store in the background of the call.

"You're a woman after my own heart, dear." Sherlock grinned.

"Or maybe we just think the same?" You asked teasingly.

"Do we think the same?" Sherlock asked, genuinely curious.

"We clearly do, if i remembered to get milk and tea." you replied, the sounds of the self checkout in the background. The sounds of a frustrated grumble in the background as the machine seemed to reject your card.

"Problems, dear?" Sherlock asked, listening to your frustrated grumbling.

"Bloody piece of- Ah, there we go! No problems, ma'am." your voice said to some other person in the store.

"She doesn't sound like a serial killer." Watson said quietly.

"I don't? Huh, Sherlock said i kind of did." You answered. Watson looked surprised at your answering, and Sherlock pointed to his ears to show that you could hear him.

"The innocent voice gives it away. Though you definitely give yourself away when you use 'that' voice." Sherlock replied, getting comfortable as he heard the sounds of the store parking lot and you loading groceries.

"What voice?" You asked curiously.

"Well, it used to appear when you'd send those teasing little tapes of you and your victims. Though it does seem to appear when we get together,too." Sherlock replied, fingering the violin.

"Oh! That voice!" You replied, your voice suddenly changing to suit the 'voice' in question. Sherlock looked to see Watson's rigid posture.

"So... when will you be home, sweetheart. Our new roommate wants to meet you." Sherlock asked, picking up the phone off the wooden coffee table.

"You picked him up? You've been hyping about him all this time, and i'm eager to meet him." You said excitedly.

"Well, he's here. And I think you'll like him." Sherlock smiled fondly.

"We'll see. The last few roommates ran off the minute they heard about me." You pouted.

"Well, he's still here, so i'll assume he's excited to meet you too." Sherlock reassured.

"Oh yay! Well, i'll see you later, new roomate!" you called out excitedly.

"I love you!" Sherlock grinned as Watson looked nervous.

"I love you too, sweetheart." You said lovingly, as the phone hung up. Watson dropped into the nearest chair, appearing relieved that you hung up.

"What are you so afraid of? Like i said, she's a former serial killer. She's brilliant for figuring out murders, too. A criminal is the best detective, all that." Sherlock got up from his chair into the experiment filled kitchen.

"And what stopped her from keeping on killing, if she's what you said she is." Watson grumbled.

"Well, for one there's me. That phone call alone should have told you of our relationship. And another, well she confessed she stopped because she got bored." Sherlock shrugged off Watson's suspicious attitude.

"You two go together far too well." Watson sat up, his face in his hands.

"So we've been told." Sherlock grinned, setting the last cup of tea in front of Watson.

"She have any family? Just so i know how many crazies are going to be over for Christmas." Watson asked, sipping the tea.

"No family to speak of." Watson nearly jumped out of his seat at your voice. "GOD!"

"You're home. I missed you." Sherlock smiled lovingly, as he embraced you. Watson got up for a better look at you. (h/l), silky (h/c) hair, soft (s/c) skin, bright, shining (e/c), and a wide smile. You... didn't look threatening at all.

"So, you're our new roommate. Let's have a look at you." You pulled out of Sherlock's hug, circling Watson. "Hmm... he's a little short, has trust issues, as shown by your reluctance to talk to me over the phone, and a former army doctor, serving in... Afghanistan, from the looks of you." You looked him over, coming to face Watson.

"How did you know about me being a an army doctor?" Watson asked, stunned.

"Your hands. They're steady, from handling tools, no doubt? And your face is tanned, implying you've been somewhere very sunny. And due to you being in the army, Afghanistan is the most likely." You clapped your hands excitedly.

"She's just like you." Watson said, stunned from your perception.

"You were right when you said we're alike." Sherlock grinned, pulling you back to him. "Just don't invite either of us to Cluedo."

"You mean don't invite you to Cluedo." You poked Sherlock in the side.

"Nope. You'll figure the killer out in the first few minutes." Sherlock corrected.

"And you'll figure the killer out in the first few seconds. Plus you cheat." You shook your head.

"I don't cheat! I gather clues." Sherlock defended.

"By going against the rules and cheating." You finished smugly as you cuddled to him.

"We're getting a little off topic, aren't we?" Watson looked between you two.

"A little off topic, yes. OH! I nearly forgot the groceries." You snapped your fingers, running out into the hall.

"You two are crazy. Brilliant, but crazy." Watson shook his head.

"I don't hear you disapproving, however." Sherlock grinned, bouncing in place.

"Well... as odd as you two are... you fit." Watson admitted, running over to help you carry the groceries.

"We fit." Sherlock nodded in agreement, before helping you put away the food items.

"I think we're going to get along, quite well, you and i." You patted Watson's shoulder as you ran for the next set of groceries.


End file.
